Welcome to the land of a thousand deaths!~ It is I, Bobby, ready to be your tour guide as we enter the Boyle Heights temple and get ready for a night you shan’t soon forget.
K, I tried my best mysterious Catrina impression to greet you and I hope it worked. Either way, let’s get into tonights wonderful third episode of Lucha Underground! If you’ll remember, last week we saw the debut of Catrina and Mil Muertes, as well as a kick ass mixed tag featuring Sexy Star and Chavo Guerrero teaming up against Son of Havoc and Ivelisse. Then, in the conclusion of the episode, Chavo whacked our masked luchadora over the head with a steel chair and sent Sexy Star to the hospital.
Because of this, our high flying savior is out of action this week. But never fear, because Lucha Underground has taken it upon themselves to again meet all of my needs. Last week, I said I would like Catrina promos to fill the screen every week, or at least every week we have no women in action so that I still have something woman-wise to redux about (Don’t worry… I may be in the process of trying to convince our bosslady Erin to rename the site as Diva-And-Prince-Puma-Dirt.Com. Will keep you all updated!).
I am just too giddy over the fact I get to recap Catrina/Karlee/Maxine/Liviana/Candy Girl/Resident Lord and Savior’s promos on a week to week basis again, that I’ll make myself shut up now so we can get started!
We head backstage to see Chavo Guerrero (fresh off his chair shot to Sexy Star/beatdown to Blue Demon Jr. last week), meet up with Konnan. Konnan discusses how Chavo has always been considered family to him, so he wants to give a heads up. La Raza in Mexico found out about what he did to Blue Demon Jr. last week and it’s only a matter of time before they find out what he did to Mascarita earlier on in tonight’s episode. Because of this, Konnan wants to give him some advice — He needs to become extinct just like a ghost or a comprehensive immigration bill (Side note: WHAT?!). He warns Chavo that they’re coming, before walking off.
Suddenly, the lights flicker and Chavo turns around to see Mil Muertes before him! But with Mil comes the heaven sent ruler of the microphone… the goddess of the Boyle Heights temple… the one… the only… Catrina!
Just know… that he never forgets.
And one day — SOME day — you too will belong to Mil Muertes.”
From there, out to the temple ring we go! Our announcer, Melissa Santos, introduces a competitor currently in the ring… that being the one and only Ricky Mandel. His opponent? Accompanied by the beautiful, Catrina (Side note: Not sure who adds more flattering adjectives before they say Catrina between Melissa and I), from Beyond the Grave… Miiiiiil Mueerrtesss! The power couple/associate & client duo step out from the back. One looks scary, one looks beautiful, and because I thought I couldn’t overly love either video packages or Catrina more than I already did, they combine them both into one and I get my own personal moment of sheer bliss.
WHAT in God’s Green Earth is this utter brilliance? I was going to type out all of her lines like I usually do in these segments, but I can’t do it justice so I am instructing all of you to watch this video package. I have chills, and it may make me come off ridiculous to admit that, but bring on the ridicule.
Back to the temple, Mil and Catrina continue their path down the steps and enter the ring. She carries his red stone of power and control, as they execute their team pose and she removes his coat. She then heads outside, gives Mil a kiss, and prepares to watch her client destroy another victim.
Mandel ducks an attack attempt, but his quickness doesn’t help him out for long as Muertes quickly gets the upper hand with a takedown. Mil goes for a bodyslam, however, Ricky fights out and nails a few punches and clotheslines to minimal effect. Yowza! Mil then completely tackles him to the ground, before sending him to the corner and chopping the ever loving mercy out of his chest. Catrina definitely approves what she’s seeing, and this is made all the more obvious as Mil distracts the referee and she grabs onto Ricky’s hair, snapping his neck off the ropes for good measure!
Ricky tries to fight out, but the power advantage for Mil is just too much. Catrina now ascends to the ring apron so she can get a closer look, but much to her dismay, Mandel hits a dropkick! Ricky tries to capitalize, and nails a few shots. He climbs to the top rope and goes for a double axe handle, only he eventually gets sent into lala land when Mil scouts it coming and decks him right in the face. Catrina claps! Muertes hoists Ricky up and drills him with the flatliner, scoring the victory as Catrina steps back into the ring. She bends down and places her knee on Ricky’s midsection, before lifting his lifeless head up and planting another patented #LickOfDeath.
With that, Catrina and Mil perform a little makeout sesh in the ring as she holds his hand up in victory!
Thoughts: I’m trying so hard to not start out the thoughts process with my usual fawning over the show, but it’s so hard you guys. I just, I mean the video package. I’m such a vignette spaz, and this was like movie quality! It gave Mil Muertes such a powerful backstory — one that we don’t usually see — and they COMPLETELY nailed it. That’s the best part to me about the filming style. It might have come off very cheesy in a typical vignette because a lot of the times, people associate wrestling as needing to separate itself from the scripted-ness of movies or tv shows and instead focus on realism. To me though, that takes the fun out of a lot of it. With Lucha Underground, because they film this like a legitimate movie and present themselves as wanting to be compared to that style, it allows them to go outside the box with these backstories and nail the execution in a way that I don’t think would work otherwise.
Plus, it doesn’t hurt when it’s being narrated by Catrina, who is, on a serious note, one of my favorite talkers of all time and I have no qualms admitting it. She just has a way to make what she says seem so powerful and so legit… like you can tell she truly believes in what she’s saying and it’s not just a regular promo or script to her. I am not someone who picks apart anyone’s acting because lord help us if my uncharismatic, monotone self ever had to cut a promo or do anything of the sort, but I just think she is so above & beyond good at what she does and that’s why I’ve never forgotten about her work on Redemption (and why I’m so happy she’s returned to us). No matter what part you present to her, she nails it every time and the day she steps in a Lucha Underground ring to wrestle will be the day the heavens bestow upon me the ultimate gift I never thought I’d get to see again. Also, please make #LickOfDeath trend loyal brethren! It would be the best gift to the universe (or just me, but we’ll go with universe) ever.
In the Sexy Star front, I’m perfectly okay with her not being shown tonight to sell the injury and the brutality of what Chavo did last week. I would’ve liked perhaps a bonus and gotten a little video or something checking up on her, but you never know what we might get next week or even the week after that. I cannot wait to see how she returns, and if she legitimately embarks on an intergender feud, either while they await Blue Demon Jr. to return or after he does. This was a short week female wise, but I still watched & enjoyed the entire show from start to finish and I cannot wait to see where we go from here. When what you’re putting out is so fun, it’s a pleasure to watch whether there’s anything to solidify recapping it or not.
See you next week (hopefully!)
Bobby